There is a battle ahead, many battles are lost
but you’ll never see the end of the road while you are travelling with meCrowded House – Don’t dream its over (1986)
No matter how complicated things are, there is always a way to make it better for yourself.
Thing is: you need to ACT. You “just” have to do it. If you are in a situation that you don’t want to be in, ACT. If you are getting lost in negativity about whatever, snap OUT of it. I know I can, I just don’t always do it, but listening to people like Tony Robbins and Simon Sinek help me a lot to get more perspective and insights in the way I think.
Life isn’t controllable, but we can control and decide on our thoughts and feelings ourselves. It sounds spiritual, but listening to a couple of video’s, I began to realize that I was sabotaging, judging, fighting and rejecting myself.
Earlier this year, I unexpectedly lost my job. I was too proud to go ask for social security pff, I have a bachelor degree, I will have a new job in no time. That was true, but not that easy. Long story short: it didn’t work out because of my own stubbornness I would win this, there would be no financial problems, I got this. Until it started to hit me that I didn’t and couldn’t sleep properly anymore. Suddenly, I had to think about how the HECK I was supposed to pay rent and buy groceries.
One evening, I just couldn’t breathe anymore and I finally reached out to one of my friends. I was scared and ashamed, but had nothing to loose anymore. And guess what? The two things that I was afraid of: judgement and disappointment never came knocking. He didn’t judge me. He handed me a beer instead and told me that we would get this done.
After all: it wouldn’t help to scream my ears off about how stupid I had been. Like I didn’t know that myself. The fact that I had pushed my pride aside to ask him for help said it all. That evening I lost an invisible 10 kg and cherished the fact that I have such fantastic friends.
My point being? ACT.
I decided that I wouldn’t let the situation get me down and held on to knowing that it wasn’t going to be easy, but the dark clouds would clear up.
Don’t be too hard on yourself, especially when you are so lucky to have people around you who love you.
Same goes for when you are stuck in a relationship/marriage that doesn’t work. No matter how long you are together with somebody, how much you share, even if you have children – you have the choice to go for your own happiness.
Yes, it will be tough, people will get mad, loved ones will get hurt, you’ll probably get to know a different side of yourself. You will experience feelings that you didn’t even know you had in you, but don’t say there’s no way out.
Then just say I don’t want a way out or I am just to comfortable with where I am to do something about it.
In which case you will need to fight to make it right again and stop doubting yourself. If I came to learn one important thing, it’s: the only person who is making things impossible is YOU.
There is always a way, unless you don’t want there to BE a way.
This applies to everything we go through in life. If you want to do something, accomplish something, make something work – don’t put minimal effort in it and complain that you started, but it didn’t pay off so you quit. Rome wasn’t build in a day either. Successful people don’t just got lucky, we (well, most of us) work our butts off.
It’s as complicated as WE make it out to be.
I’m guessing that this exact thought drew me towards this particular spot in the park this morning.
Going around in negative mindsets like:
I so want to change, but I can’t
I hate my job, but I don’t know what else to do, so I am staying (that was me!)
I so want to get out of this situation, but due to this and this there is no way out. I have made my bed and I need to lay in it
No you don’t, only if you choose to.
Last April I changed jobs – I left a company that felt like my second home, where I had built a family. Fact is: I was becoming the worst version of myself: complaining all the time, feeling underappreciated, blaming everybody for it.
So I cut the cord. And if I can, you can do it too – never matter what situation you are in.
Don’t dream it’s over..